Grand Appropriator’s Log, Star Date 1951.6
If the Shevar had put up any resistance at all, I doubt my Dubtak friends would have continued their invasion. Fortunately, they didn’t — so this whole war has proceeded less like a war and more like stealing whole colonies from a baby.
Crimea was the last system to come under our control.
Crimea being the home of the Shevar’s equivalent to Midway Prime — an enormous Cornucopia class planet that may have been their primary ship-production site.
But not anymore.
The massive industrial output there allow us to refit and replace all our spent invasion modules in no time.
We hadn’t claimed Crimea III due to those missing modules, expecting the Marmosians passing through to sweep in and take it from under our noses — but they haven’t made a move.
Do you guys, like… want that planet? While you’re here?
Nah, we’re just hanging out. We’re actually… not at war with the Shevar anymore.
So you goaded us into going on the offensive and then left us to deal with the Shevar by ourselves?
More or less. We saw some potential in the Dubtaks to stop being complete cowards. And you know what? You did. We’re proud of you, little Dubtaks.
Now they’re only 98% coward.
Better than 100%. It’s progress.
How dare you. I wanted to be a coward forever.
Appropriator? The Capelons want to talk.
Put them through.
You led the offensive to push back the greatest enemy the galaxy has ever known. We believe it is time for a leader, and that leader should be the Dubtaks.
Grand Appropriator’s Log, Star Date 1981.2
The offensive continues.
And so does the Shevar retreat strategy.
It seems like everyone’s beginning to take pity on the poor Shevar at this point; the Capelons are the second species to make peace with them.
Of course, the Dubtaks would certainly accept a peace offering if the Shevar extended one — but instead they keep throwing their ships at us indiscriminately. Even if we withdrew at this point, we couldn’t escape the constant threat of Shevar attack on all of our frontier colonies.
So the only option seems to be to press on.
Our favor among the other races continues to grow: the last possible outcome I ever saw coming when the Dubtaks went into space.
Aside from allying with us, the Govorom even seem to be bouncing back from the brink of extinction.
They’ve gained a new colony and expanded their fl–
Look where their colony is:
Wasn’t Atropos II originally their homeworld?
Yes, but most recently it belonged to the Marmos.
You mean… Damn it! Don’t they realize this is not the time to be fighting among ourselves? Get me the Govorom ambassador.
It’s almost like you’re wearing your diplomat hat for real now.
Guys, please offer peace to the Marmosians.
We will not.
…oh. Well… shit.
So… the Marmos?
Yeah, we’ll try them.
That’s better! Thanks, guys.
Grand Appropriator’s Log, Star Date 2021.1
Peace was achieved between the Marmosians and the Govorom.
Though it didn’t last long. The Govorom seemed to have their eyes on one more Marmosian colony before they would put their aggressions to rest.
You’ll also notice that the second-to-last Shevar colony has fallen. Only their home system of Discordia remains.
Here it is:
One little planet.
One sad, stagnant colony.
And no ships to defend it.
It’s not even worth taking. No resources to offer. No strategic value. And no threat to us — with no spare population to build ships.
The Marmosians and Capelons have ended their wars with the Shevar. The Kambuchka don’t seem interested. And the Govorom hardly have any ships at all. So we could probably leave the Shevar to their far corner of the galaxy while the rest of us live in peace.
I’m cool with that. They were huge dicks for no reason, but… do we really need to wipe them out?
Don’t tell me you’re getting tired of your nerd power fantasy.
A little. I’d like to get back to my Mantak cave and play with all the cool tech we’ve discovered the last few years. I bet there’s all sorts of holographic, virtual reality pornograms I’ve missed. Let’s go home, Gizmo.
Grand Appropriator’s Log, Star Date 2121.7
One hundred days since the unofficial end of the Shevar War…
We’re still “at war” with the Shevar — not that it means anything. Even the Kambuchka have declared a peace, and not much has changed since then.
The Appropriator has done some actual diplomacy, attempting to work out alliances between our longtime friends and our other new allies…
The bromance between the Appropriator and the Marmo ambassador is a thing of beauty.
Everyone say it together: AWWWWWWWW
Cut it out. It’s not that cute.
Can you believe there was a time when you thought he didn’t like you?
Other attempts, however, haven’t gone so well.
The Kambuchka continue to resist our attempts at uniting the galaxy in one big Federation of sorts.
We’ll keep working on it.
Grand Appropriator’s Log, Star Date 2136.3
I have nothing really to say about this development…
…except that the Govorom may be the galaxy’s biggest secret assholes.
Grand Appropriator’s Log, Star Date 2256.9
And even the Kambuchka have begun to open up to us.
Otherwise, the galaxy is a quiet, peaceful place. Mercifully quiet and peaceful, and I suspect the need for this log will soon be at an end.
The Appropriator, on the other hand, is swamped. He’s been appointed the head of the Board of Executive Directors, and is bouncing between briefings and meetings and committees and working lunches. I’ve been reduced to the role of keeping his schedule straight.
Speaking of which…
This morning you’ve got Subcommittee 7, where they’re still discussing the ethics of using disintegration technology on nonsentient vermin species. After lunch you’ve got a meeting with the newly-appointed Capelon Sub-Overlord, since the last one was killed in a self-destructotron accident. And you’ve got to hop on a transport right after that in order to make it to the Alliance Races Ethics Board vote on whether to declare the Govorom ship captain who exterminated the Shevar a galactic champion or a war criminal.
This is not the direction I saw my life going in…
Maintaining peace and good relationships between species, it turns out, is harder work than waging a war. Though I don’t think the Appropriator would have had the nerve to do any of this work if he hadn’t been forced into being an accidental war hero first.
Nowadays, for the most part, I’m just waiting for something to happen with the Kambuchka so that this game can come to an end.
…three years later…
Grand Appropriator’s Log, Star Date 2952.1