PUBG — Lesson 1: How to Get Off On the Wrong Foot

I think you can probably figure out how to start up the game and join your first match. Once you do, you’ll end up in the middle of this madness:

This is the starting island, where you wait for all the players to load in. Everybody’s invincible for now, and there’s lots of guns lying around for you to test out.

I personally recommend testing them out on someone’s dick.

As soon as the counter runs out, you’ll find yourself flying into the game proper on this plane.

This thing flies in random trajectory for each match, so you’ll have to use your map to plan where you want to parachute onto the island.

Equipment spawns almost exclusively in buildings, shown as pale yellow spots on the map. Like these — all of which are along the path of our plane:

Players tend to mostly bail out as early as they can, and in the most densely-settled areas. So for your first game, you might want to wait till further inland, and aim for a single house. I’ve never tried this area, so that’s where I’m going to aim for.

Ready? Jump!

We’re on target for those long structures… whatever they are. Don’t worry about deploying your parachute. It’ll happen automatically when you’re a certain distance from the ground.

Now that I’m close enough, uh… this thing doesn’t appear to be a building.

Okay, class. Valuable hands-on experience! Not all yellow things on the map are buildings! Good to know.

In that case… let’s hoof it to the closest building! (After we recover from the rough landing and resulting butt deformation.)

Okay, go!

As you can see in the bottom left, players are already dropping like flies.

We’ve got to get into this house and gear up.

Be sure to check every room in each house. You’re much less likely to get picked off going room to room than you are running from one building to another.

Stuff’s almost always on the floor, like this cache in the bathroom:

Pistol. Bullets. And a cool motorcycle helmet. Always make sure you have a cool motorcycle helmet to protect your brain meats.

Also load your gun! Guns are less effective when they’re not loaded.

Unfortunately, that does it for this house. A pistol and helmet isn’t going to win a game, so we’ll have to check the next one.

This one’s got a primary weapon for us. A tommy gun — not bad!

But we still don’t have armor or a backpack. You won’t get far without the added ammo/first aid capacity of a backpack.

Next house!

I don’t see any open doors, so that’s a good sign. It’s pretty unlikely there’s anyone here.

…Right. Like I said, unlikely. But definitely possible.

Okay, class… So that was a lesson in how not to play your first game of PUBG.

Next time we’ll discuss watching the sky for other players as you’re parachuting in… so you know if anyone’s in your general area.


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