Expand and Exterminate — Phase 7: Codename Attack of the Clods


Broadcasting from Forward Station, Aglarond IV
Day 1509 of the Second Swaparaman Space Age

Our enemies send ships against us on a constant basis now.

And our Great Vessels deal with them handily.

Whether it be in Aglarond or in Hope.

Whether it be the Frutmaka, Mebes, or Chronomysts.

And all these victories have been by our old ships, armed with Molecular Disassociators! Now it’s time for something even better to hit the warfront!

The WS Arbalest is complete and headed into Hope’s red link — down the road that the Chronomysts have been using to ceaselessly attack us. We will bring the fight to their doorstep!

The second in the new line of warships, the WS Trebuchet, began construction the very day the Arbalest left the system. So we’ll have the Arbalest’s sister ship to push toward the Icarus System and Frutmaka territory.

The CS Valor passed through that very system on its way to the galaxy’s other red link.

A Chronomyst ship was there to greet us…

But one shot from our small colony ship was enough to send the Chronomysts running like the cowards they are. And we were free to proceed through the link.

At the time of this broadcast, our ships are well on their way through both red links:

And the Trebuchet is on its way to Icarus to begin a proper war on the Frutmaka. Their days are numbered.

Forward Station, Aglarond IV
Day 1539 SSSA

Dear Viewers! We would be bringing you word of the successful ongoing siege of Icarus II by the Trebuchet…

…however, we have just received word that the Arbalest has exited the red link!

Detecting… two Kambuchka planets, three Chronomyst ships, and one Kambuchka.

Destroy them all.

Tananni? I know we’ve been doing well for a while, but four against one?

Four against one, but we have four times their weapon range. Fire.

We’re hitting them hard but they’re still closing.

They’re close enough to hit us now. Raising shields!

We really should retreat, though. Weapons are depleted and these shields won’t hold against four ships, Tananni.

Fine! We’ll return to finish the job– …why are you looking at me like that?

…because that last hit to the shields used up all our remaining power.

The first ship’s spent, but here comes the next one.

We’ve lost the Arbalest.

And– wait! Where did the Trebuchet go?!

WS Retaliation, Icarus System
Day 1573 SSSA

We are in Icarus. Aboard an upgraded WS Retaliation. To do this ourselves. There will be no more failures.

Tananni, I’m sure our Great Swaparaman brothers and sisters are doing the best they can. We’ve been pushing them really hard, and… I’m not really sure why.

For their DESTINY, Don.


R-right. Sorry.

It will clear your head to recap our recent victories.

Yeah — so we found the WS Trebuchet!

It was warped out of the Icarus System by an unknown power.

[LPer’s Note: That’s the Frutmaka’s special ability.]

And we’ve already finished a replacement for the Arbalest.

On the same day it left spacedock and the Trebuchet was passing through the Hope System on its way back to Icarus, a Chronomyst attack force emerged from the red link.

It was the perfect opportunity to test out the new weapons. I’m really glad we got to see the Plasmatron debut here and not in another battle we were totally unprepared for and overconfident about.

Chronomyst reinforcements arrived the next day but by then the battle had basically been won.

In all honesty, Faithful Followers, even we did not expect the Chronomysts to become such a persistent nemesis out here in space. But this last battle may have finally crippled their fleet.

This was their galactic standing before the battle:

And here it is afterward:

On top of all that, even the Chronomyst’s greatest advantage — their larger ships — will soon be gone. We’re now researching ships that will match theirs in size.

And, of course, the invasion of Icarus II is imminent. We only need to bring their shields down.

A Frutmaka ship did manage to slip past us and into Aglarond, but what can they really accomplish there?


Bah, who cares about that worthless planet anyway?


WS Retaliation, Aglarond System
Day 1622 SSSA

Sooo… that was the Ballista that we lost. These are the four ships we have to our name now:

Meanwhile, the Chronomysts have almost completely rebuilt their fleet already! You’d almost think Tanandanam’s spirit was on their side — not ours!

Yyyeah. Anyway, we’re doing what we can with the limited ships we have; like refitting some Plasmatrons onto the WS Shieldbearer.

Plus new power units — and a single invasion module to use on Aglarond II on the way through that system.

The Shieldbearer’ll meet up with us here in Icarus, where we did eventually bring down the Frutmaka’s orbital shields…

…but we hadn’t packed enough invasion modules to break through the surface shields.

Not our fault, of course. Nothing is our fault. We are infallible. Right, Don?

…Tananni hasn’t been taking these setbacks very well, but I’m sure he’ll bounce back soon! On the plus side, the CS Valor hit a new system!

Turn’s out the red link leads right to the Chronomyst home system. That’ll be useful when we’re ready to take the war to them.

Not that we ever will be. Tanandanam is abandoned us to galactic obscurity.

Aw, buddy! Don’t say that. Tanandanam’s just taking a little rest. We’ll be back to the revenge and galactic domination business in no time!

Look — even our lowly colony ship was able to blow a Chronomyst warship to oblivion! Doesn’t that cheer you up?

…a little.

‘course, the Valor doesn’t have any invaders, so we can’t claim either of these Chronomyst planets. But we’ll be back! For now the Valor continues on to the next system.

And the next time we check in, we’ll be back in total control of Aglarond. I promise!

WS Retaliation, Aglarond System
Day 1671 SSSA

Tananni’s still mostly out of commission, but have I got news for you!

The Aglarond System is back under our control! We’ve replaced all our spend invasion modules on the Retaliation and the Shieldbearer, and now they’re both headed for Icarus.

On the research front, we’re ready to make large ships!


Starting to pique your interest — right, Tananni? What if I told you GIGANTIC ships were next?!


[It’s always bugged me that the Gigantic Hulls research node is directly connected to the Large one, so you barely have any time to build Large ships before you have access to Gigantic ones.]

The Valor’s continued its scouting trip through Chronomyst space.

They’ve only got one more planet in the Lanesend system.

And it’s a complete garbage heap. Not even a single factory, so it’s taking them 127 days to build a small ship. Pretty pathetic, right?

Pretty pathetic, right?


And then there’s this:


Yep! Our first Large hull ship! I started with our brand new, faster star lane drive! And then threw on more shields and weapons than any other ship has had. PLUS a few invasion modules.

We’ve never built a ship like this! And as the first of its kind, I thought it was only right we gave it a fitting name…

Tanandanam would be proud of how far we’ve come! Right, Tananni?

Don… uh, could you bring up those specs again? I’m not s–

I can do better than that! I can show you the ship itself! Mark your calendars, everyone, because today — 1671 SSSA — is the day we completed the Great Vessel that will take back our Long Lost Homeworld!

Punch it!

Guys? I said punch it.

Don… Like I said…

Wait, here’s a message from the captain. It says… no, this can’t be right.

It says you forgot to include engines.

I… no, I’m sure. I did everything right. No, no! Tananni — everything’s going to be fine! Please put that spanner down! I was only trying to help! AGGGHHHHHH!!!

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