Expand and Exterminate — Phase 1: Codename Rocketman


Broadcasting from New Tandan City, Syzygifer III
Day 76 of the Second Swaparaman Space Age

Hello and welcome to The Voice of Tanandanam — the galaxy’s premiere Swaparamans vidcast.

We’re Tanannidon, heir to Tanandanam.

Indeed. I am Tananni…

…And I’m Don.

As our viewers are aware, our Great Society has been relegated to the edge of the galaxy, at the end of this backwater star lane, for the last few thousand years.

Syzygifer III, third planet in the Syzygifer System, has been our home since Tanandanam saved us from the Frutmaka and led us to safety.

But what if I told you all that was about to change?


Don — why don’t you tell the good people the work we have been doing on their behalf?

I’d love to! For starters, we began construction on the Most Advanced Laboratory Facility the Swaparamans have ever created.

[LPer’s Note: Normally I’d start with an Agriplot to boost the colony’s population, but we’re in a terrible starting position between a black square (useless) and a blue one (a big waste if you don’t take advantage of it to boost the output of a research building).]

This research installation has aided our Most Wise scientists in rediscovering the last of the Forgotten Tools of Tanandanam:

Shipyards will be the construction sites of the Great Vessels that carry us back to the stars.

Those vessels will be powered by Proton Shavers — a miraculous new power generator…

…and propelled by the Tonklin Motor, the very engine system we believe Tanandanam used in their flight.

However, let us not get ahead of ourselves. First, we must call on all Swaparamans to rally their strength to our Great Cause. Let us build the factories where the components of our ships will be created…

…and agriplots to feed our growing numbers!

(But we can only grow in number if you do your part and breed. Breed like there’s no tomorrow!)

Always remember the words of Tanandanam: “It’s up to each of us to create the next generation to inherit my legacy.”

And remember to sit your children down in front of this vidcast as soon as their spinal muscles are strong enough to keep them in an upright position! They’re never too young to be instructed in What is Right and Good.

Until the next cast — this has been The Voice of Tanandanam. Keep the Legacy alive.

New Tanan City, Syzygifer III
Day 208 SSSA

Welcome back, Discerning Viewer.

So many breakthroughs have been made in your absence!

Star drives that will allow our ships not only to travel within our system, but also cross the vast distance between systems in days.

Colonizers that we’ll use to reclaim our old home and any others we find on the way. And shield systems to defend ourselves!

Work has even begun on shipboard weapons.

With only the manufacturing output of our first factory, a shipyard would have taken 120 days to build…

…but with our factories expanding, the same shipyard will take only 80 days.

Such progress!

The shipyard is under construction as we speak.

That’s right, Tananni! And our scientists tell us that we are ready for space:

Please join us next time, when the savviest Swaparaman engineers to ever live begin work on the very ship Tanannidon (that’s us!) will pilot to your salvation!

New Tanan City, Syzygifer III
Day 238 SSSA

And we’re back!

With the shipyard complete, it is time the first of our Great Vessels was built.

We begin with a simple hull with room for five components.

Engines and power are a given, which have been positioned at the top and far left. And since our Important Mission is ultimately to strike out past the Syzygifer System, we require a star lane drive. That leaves room for two colonizers.

Not many, but enough to begin our Great Work. And what have we named this vessel, which will defy those vile Frutmaka’s attempts to crush us? Don?

Why, the Colony Ship “Defiant,” of course!

CS Defiant, in orbit over Syzygifer III
Day 303 SSSA

We address you, loyal viewers, from aboard the CS Defiant!

Where we’ll be igniting our engines in 20 parglongs.

Before we leave spacedock, I want to express my Utmost Faith in you, the followers of Tanandanam and Tanannidon.

19… 18… 17…

Though we may be leaving you in body, we do not leave you in spirit.

16… 15… 14…

Daily management of Syzygifer III will fall to others now, but we leave it in good hands.

13… 12… 11…

Construction on additional factory facilities have already begun.

10! 9…

And research into advanced food-production, new engines, orbital weapons, and upgraded power systems is underway.

8… 7…

We shall travel to Syzygifer I, where we will enter orbit and drop a colonizer, full of eager Swaparamans, onto the surface.

6… 5!

Our second colonizer will be saved for the next system — as Syzygifer II holds little of value for us.

4! 3!

But Tanannidon departs now for the stars! Tanandanam would be proud!


Don, please join me in taking hold of the Literal Controls of Destiny.

1! BLAST-O-*bbzzzrt-* -;*zzz*xzzz,>>>

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