Tag: Ascendancy

Grand Appropriator’s Log, Star Date 1428.5 With the number of our colonies beyond the Galactic Bridge growing, the Board has made the decision to migrate our forces out of Midway to defend them. I’m proud of them — not that this is an especially brave move. It’s not like they’re spreading their forces thinner or putting themselves at any greater risk. They’re just moving to a more forward choke point… but at least they’re not hiding anymore. Though that may have something to do with that minor victory against the Shevar last year.

When last we left our intrepid con artist, I believe he had just made a poopie in his space pantaloons. Get off that god damn recorder and tell me what to do, Gizmo! At this point? I think we’re past the Building Bridges phase. I only wish this war had been in some way your fault — not just that the Shevar don’t seem to like the look of your face. …

Put on your Diplomat Hat, Mr. Appropriator. Or at least take off your Philistine Hat; the alien transmission is coming through —

Grand Appropriator’s Log, Star Date 571.3 Going forward, I’ll include a periodically updated cheat sheet of the known galaxy along with these log entries. In recording them, I’ve noticed that the system and colony names can get overwhelming. Not to say that the esteemed High Board of Executives won’t be keeping up with their interstellar intelligence briefings, but I always find a handy map to be an essential part of any complete textfast.

Transmission’s coming in now. Five new planets? Further orders can wait; show me the system!

And here come the Swaparamans, the two-headed, suction-cup-fingered, wrinkly-Pug-faced “cosmic exiles.”

Grand Appropriator’s Log, Star Date 0000.3 Hello. This is Auxiliary Knower Unit 89-Beta — or as Dubtaks call me, the “Great Gizmo.” I’m an advanced A.I. construct relegated to recording log entries for my shockingly lazy new owner the “Grand Appropriator.” The Appropriator stole me from my original owners, a visiting offworld species, one year and fourteen days ago when they attempted to make peaceful first contact with the Dubtaks in their quiet little corner of the galaxy…

Meet the Dubtaks, the coolest molten-lead-spotted, terrestrial stingray… things… in the galaxy.

Many a childhood adventure began with this screen:

Everyone who grew up gaming has that handful of videogames that defined their childhood. Instead of just formative years, we have formative games. If you’ve read any of this blog, you can probably guess that one of those games, for me, was Doom. But another, which I don’t talk about nearly as much as it deserves, is this one. Ascendancy. When I think back to being a kid, I think of Ascendancy. I think of hours, days, and years spent meeting bizarre alien races, brokering trade deals and alliances, and conquering galaxies. I especially think of the haunting soundtrack — which