Pokemon Silver — Chapter 21: Kanto, Land of Disappointment

pokemon_title

ps_21_01

portrait_cidWell, here we are again. Back at the beginning…

There’s just one last bit of business left before we can close the book on this chapter of our lives…

ps_21_02

We owe someone a proper burial. The final casualty of my mad quest to become Pokemon Champion.

ps_21_03

See ya, Leila.

So that ends our great journey. We’ve become champions and committed our names in the Hall of Fame for all time, but was it worth it? Was it worth all these lives?

rip_maria rip_selphie rip_setzer rip_faris rip_vivi
rip_edge2 rip_sabin rip_yang rip_galuf rip_kain
rip_edward rip_umaro rip_aeris rip_mog rip_leila

portrait_cidWhen you put it that way, I really do look like a monster.

portrait_poromYou’ve always looked like a monster.

portrait_cidWell, never again. I think I’ll retire to a farm upstate and live out my days as a PokeRancher.

portrait_poromRetire? With what money? The League doesn’t give out a cash prize; it just pays in bloated egos.

portrait_cidWhat, do you expect me to work at the local Market Basket? How could I be a productive member of society after the raw shit I’ve seen? All the death and suffering?

portrait_poromYOU CAUSED–

portrait_cidShh! — I’ve got to take this.

ps_21_04

portrait_cidHey Doc. What’s up?

ps_21_05

portrait_cidUh… sure. I’ll be right over.

ps_21_06

portrait_elmI called because I have something for you.

ps_21_07

portrait_elmSee? It’s an S.S.Ticket.

portrait_cidYeah, I can read. What’s it for?

portrait_elmYou can take the S.S.Aqua and catch Pokemon in Kanto! Not to mention the eight gyms there to test your mettle. And some people say the old Pokemon Champion, Red, will still battle worthy trainers who can find him.

portrait_cidI’m sorry… Did you say there’s another champion to beat? Screw Professor Oak’s dumb rating; you mean I could go down in history as the trainer who beat Red?

portrait_poromSo much for learning the value of Pokemon lives. And you were so close, too.

Moments later…

ps_21_09

ps_21_11

portrait_cidYes. Yes to all.

And so our hero returned once more unto the breach, dragging his poor Pokemon along with him.

ps_21_10

Now, the idea going into Kanto was that we’d change the rules a little. You may have noticed that aside from the two high-profile wipes back there, we’ve barely lost any Pokemon on this run at all. And with all the new zones in Kanto, we could very quickly have a totally unreasonable number of Pokemon warming the bench. So, as a personal challenge of sorts, I decided that our days of Pokemon catching were over. We’d hit the shores of Kanto with the last dozen or so minions we’d found in Johto and see how far they got us.

ps_21_15

portrait_cidI come bearing gifts of gold, frankincense, and mad Pokemon battling skills.

I fully expected the gym leaders to wear us down and for our numbers to be dwindling in no time. Only… that’s not exactly how it went.

First, there was Lt. Surge.

ps_21_16

portrait_cidGive it five more minutes.

ps_21_17

ps_21_18

ps_21_19

Then there was Erika.

ps_21_21

…but she did.

ps_21_22

And after that was Janine.

ps_21_23

Who holds out long enough for us to make a little realization…

ps_21_24

ps_21_25

portrait_cidPsychic?! After all that trouble, it’s psychic that’s effective against poison-types?

Somewhere in the middle of all this, we make a pit-stop at the region’s superstore: the Celadon City Department Store.

ps_21_26

This is where you got the evolution stones in Gen I. The stones that we’ve been hunting down for half the game. So finally Red XIII can evolve into something useful.

portrait_cidI’ll take all the stones you’ve got, chumps. I’m on a mission.

ps_21_27

portrait_cidHm. None here.

ps_21_28

portrait_cidNothing at this shop either…

ps_21_29

portrait_cidUm.

ps_21_30

portrait_cidOkay… Definitely at the next shop.

portrait_porom…Boss? That was the last vendor.

ps_21_31

portrait_cid

ps_21_31

portrait_cid

ps_21_31

portrait_cidFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF–

(I think I took it pretty well, actually, all things considered. I’m able to focus the red-hot anger into decimating the next few gym leaders.)

ps_21_32

Sabrina…

ps_21_24

Misty…

ps_21_26

Brock…

ps_21_27

Even this crybaby who claims to be the great fire-master, Blaine.

ps_21_28

ps_21_29

portrait_poromYou know what they say about playing with fire.

ps_21_30

Once Blaine has yielded, we’re down to one leader left on our hit list.

Blue.

ps_21_32

portrait_cidYou build this place yourself, kid?

portrait_poromYour mom must be loaded. How much does the My Very Own Pokemon Gym play-set go for?

ps_21_33

Blue is the one challenging fight Kanto has had to offer so far.

He leads with his very own pidgeot, eight levels higher than ours.

ps_21_34

Strago isn’t able to keep it asleep long before it starts pummeling him with his own moves.

ps_21_35

ps_21_36

We have to yank him out of there. Thankfully, Rosa is more than up for the job.

ps_21_37

Then it’s a Hyper Beam-off.

ps_21_38

ps_21_39

‘Cept Blue’s higher-level gyarados somehow manages to do significantly less damage… with the same attack. So that one’s only a matter of time.

ps_21_40

portrait_cidWhat’s next? Alakazam? Nice of you to offer Bartz a mid-battle snack, man.

ps_21_41

Bartz could probably even have gone for a threefer against the rhydon that comes next, but I don’t want to risk his rock attacks against Bartz’s flying-type.

ps_21_43

Rosa, though, is able to finish him in a single move.

ps_21_44

She’s not quite as effective against an exeggutor, though.

ps_21_45

But the idiot Pokemon just sits there sunbathing…

ps_21_46

portrait_cidThat’s the best you’ve got left, Blue?

ps_21_47

ps_21_48

ps_21_49

portrait_cid…Oh.

rip_rosa

Kanto has taken its first life.

portrait_cidWe’re done here. You’re dead to me, Blue.

ps_21_50

ps_21_51

That’s six.

ps_21_52

And eight gym leaders.

There’s not much left to do now.

ps_21_53

Vincent joins us to replace Rosa and solidify our final team…

ps_21_54

We level her up to parity with everyone else…

ps_21_55

And then we visit Professor Oak one last time at his home in Pallet Town.

portrait_cidLet’s make this quick, Oak. I know we don’t get along, but I just beat all the gym leaders your homeland has to offer, and the only trainer left for me to fight is Red. I need to find him.

ps_21_56

portrait_cidYeah, yeah, I– Wait, it is?

portrait_oakDefinitely. Well done! I’m so proud of you!

portrait_cidThanks, man. Really, it was nothing.

ps_21_57

portrait_oakI’ll make arrangements so that you can go to Mt. Silver. It’s too dangerous for your average trainer, but we can make an exception in your case, Cid. You’re hardly an average trainer. Heck, I bet Red won’t even stand a chance against you!

portrait_cidThat’s what I like to hear. Alright, I’ll be back when I’ve taken Red down.

portrait_oak…Hey, by the way…

ps_21_58

portrait_cidReally? We were having a perfectly civil conversation and you bring that up?

And so we’re off on the final push of the final mile of the final leg of our adventure.

Red is waiting.

ps_21_59

portrait_oakHahahahaha… Boy, is he.

Meanwhile, on Mt. Silver…

ps_21_60

ps_21_61

portrait_cidLooks like this is it.

portrait_poromoh boy.

ps_21_62

These are the final steps of our great PokeJourney…

portrait_cidI’m going to miss you guys when this is over.

portrait_poromOh god. Don’t start getting teary-eyed on me. Stop sniffling like a little girl.

portrait_cidIt’s allergies… To the mountain flowers.

 

ps_21_63

This is the moment we’ve all been waiting for.

portrait_cid…I wanna be…

portrait_poromAre you singing?

ps_21_64

portrait_cid…the very best…

portrait_poromJesus Christ.

ps_21_65

portrait_cid…like no one ever was…

ps_21_66

portrait_cid…To catch them is my real test… To train them is my caauuuuse~

ps_21_67

portrait_cid~I will travel across the land, searching far and wiiide!~

ps_21_68

portrait_cid~Each Pokemon to understand, the power thaat’s insiiiiiiiiide!~

ps_21_69

portrait_cid~POKEMON!!! GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL!~

portrait_poromIf you start telling me I’m your best friend, I’m going to be sick.

ps_21_70

portrait_cidI’M READY FOR YOU, RED! I’M READY TO BE THE VERY BEST!

ps_21_71

portrait_poromSee? Even he thinks you’re an idiot.

ps_21_72

ps_21_73

portrait_cid~Every challenge along the way, with courage I will face! I will battle every day, to claim my rightful place!~ Show me what you’ve got, Red!!!

ps_21_74

portrait_cidThat’s all? Just a little pikachu?

ps_21_75

Hold up a sec?

ps_21_76

 

Sorry, what level did you say he was?

 

ps_21_77

 

Could you… repeat that?

 

ps_21_78

 

Er. Is there… um…

…Come again?

 

ps_21_80

 

Oh.

Well.

ps_21_81

rip_strago

portrait_cidWait, what.

Stantler and Porom survive… one Thunder each.

Porom even sinks her fangs in before she goes down.

ps_21_82

portrait_poromPretty sure you’re not the very best, chief. That’s wh–

ps_21_83

rip_porom

portrait_cidNo, we can still pull this one off! Vincent!

ps_21_85

She manages to confuse Red’s Pikachu, but…

ps_21_84

rip_vincent

portrait_cidU-uhhh… Guillotine, maybe? Tifa, go!

ps_21_86

rip_tifa

portrait_cid…Bartz?

ps_21_87

rip_bartz

Nope.

portrait_cidCeles. Celes, buddy… You’ve been with me since the beginning. We can do it together, right?

ps_21_88

portrait_celes3Not a chance. But I’ll give him a good run for his money.

ps_21_89

That’s our last hit. Our party of 50-somethings got an 81 down into the yellow. Small victories, I guess.

…Followed by crushing defeats.

ps_21_90

ps_21_91

rip_celes

portrait_cid…but I was… the very… best……

ps_21_92

ps_21_93

ps_08_55

That’s it.

That’s the end of our tale.

ps_21_99

I know — according to my own rules, I’m allowed to keep trying here until I’m totally out of Pokemon. And I do have at least a full party back in the PC. A party of nothing but flying and water Pokemon, but a party nonetheless. Except grinding six Pokemon up to level 80 is… a horrifying thought.

This is our third complete wipe. By normal Nuzlocke rules, I would’ve been done back in Goldenrod. I’m glad we kept going, but I think it’s finally time to make the call.

Enough Pokemon have given their lives in my insane quest for power and fame. This is the end. And what more fitting way to end this disaster of a run than marching the last of our Pokemon straight into the jaws of a death I couldn’t even begin to foresee. Hurling their bodies into the meat grinder, the Pokecidal monster that is Pikachu, punkest of punks. We have come full-circle.

ps_01_05

 

 

 

Here we honor the fallen:

Maria, Flaaffy, Level 18
Selphie, Drowzee, Level 14
Setzer, Ekans, Level 11
Faris, Quilava, Level 18
Vivi, Gloom, Level 28
Edge, Raticate, Level 29
Sabin, Graveler, Level 42
Yang, Machoke, Level 33
Galuf, Gyarados, Level 43
Kain, Noctowl, Level 35
Edward, Butterfree, Level 28
Umaro, Dewgong, Level 36
Aeris, Jynx, Level 29
Mog, Togepi, Level 31
Leila, Corsola, Level 45
Rosa, Donphan, Level 50
Strago, Stantler, Level 53
Porom, Nidorina, Level 50
Vincent, Crobat, Level 50
Tifa, Kingler, Level 48
Bartz, Gyarados, Level 57
Celes, Pidgeot, Level 50

 

That’s all she wrote, folks. Thanks for joining us.

 

ps_20_55

(Really this time.)

ps_nav_back ps_nav_return

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *