December 10, 2018 marked the 25th anniversary of Doom. There were about as many different ways of celebrating the occasion as there are people who play Doom. Countless retrospectives dotted the internet landscape. Tons of new mapsets were released around that date, including one of my own. That’s not to mention other big projects like the colossal OTEX texture pack. It was a big day, but to my reckoning the biggest thing by far to come out of Doom’s 25th birthday was Eviternity.
The reasons are many, not least of which is that Eviternity was the flagship WAD to feature the brand new OTEX graphics. Dragonfly lucked out in a major way by getting access to the texture pack early, and so his mapset makes exclusive use of OTEX to flesh out its six diverse and gorgeous episodes.
In that way Eviternity initially invites comparisons to Scythe II. Six episodes of five maps each? Why, it must be a Scythe II-inspired mapset! I’m going to argue it’s about time we retire that impulse, though. I mean, it’s been seventeen years. Countless Doom WADs released since then follow a similar episodic format — short, discrete chunks with death exits in between — even if the specific six/five structure isn’t always there. And Scythe’s pacing and combat style have become just… the way mappers design WADs now. But also, with all due respect to Erik Alm, I think Eviternity may be the new standard by which projects of this ilk ought to be judged.
The concept of an objective review is, of course, a myth. For a while I know there was a push among Big Time Gamers to demand objectivity from game reviews, but (correct me if I’m wrong) that movement seems to have mostly died off these days. (Rest in piss.) Certainly I’ve never tried to represent this review column as anything other than my own subjective experience with the WADs I play. I can only write from my perspective, and if you’re here it’s because you find my point of view useful or interesting, or maybe because we enjoy similar stuff. It’s all subjective in the end.
Anyway, having said all that, here’s why Eviternity is objectively the best WAD ever made.
Okay… not the best. Not even my favorite. But possibly the biggest crowd-pleaser?
I’m struggling to avoid describing Eviternity in terms like “approachable,” “digestible,” or worst of all, “inoffensive.” Though I guess I just did? But no, this is not the latest Marvel slop, enjoyable but just as forgettable. Yes it’s an incredibly slick, finely crafted product, but certainly not in the committee-designed sense of a modern blockbuster. You can absolutely still feel Dragonfly’s hand guiding the vibe of the whole thing, even in the maps created by guest mappers, of which there were many. Eviternity has vision.
What I really mean when I throw out the word “inoffensive” in this context is that I can’t see any way players could dislike Eviternity. Some maps toward the middle section are a bit overlong, but that’s literally the only complaint I can delve up from my end. These are the kind of levels with a mass appeal that few others can offer. There’s nothing niche about Eviternity — maybe that’s the best way to put it. This is far from the Nicolás Monti stuff I always find difficult recommending to anyone because of how weird it is. Nor is it something heavily scripted, or puzzle-laden, or likewise “unDoom-y.” Not in the neighborhood of turbo-difficult WADs like Sunder and Sunlust either. It’s just Doom, in its most modern form, but that you’d have to be some kind of fun-hating monster not to enjoy.
Skill settings run the gamut… you know, like they should. I played on Hurt Me Plenty and had a great time — challenging for sure, but not frustrating. Ultra-Violence should appeal to the pain-lovers, and there’s the lower settings too if that’s your pace. Each balanced properly and with a difficulty curve that grows over the course of the WAD. Many Doom mapsets don’t quite know how to do that, opting for either unfair spikes or barely any change in the difficulty at all. Scythe II infamously swaps genres in order to increase the challenge in its last third.
Ah, dang it. I did that thing I said we shouldn’t do anymore. I promise that was the last time.
It’s probably self-evident from our time together, but let me just say I’ve played a lot of megaWADs over the years. The most common issue I’ve seen is that they so often stumble in the latter half. It can take all sorts of forms, from the aforementioned difficulty issues, to the mappers clearly getting tired and phoning it in, to the maps growing and growing in length until they’re utterly unwieldy by the end.
I don’t know if I can properly impart to you how amazing it is that Eviternity falls into none of those pitfalls. I was deeply afraid it would, especially at about the end of the fourth episode where the maps were firmly in “unpleasantly long” territory. But Dragonfly rights the ship with a quickness, and quite contrary to my concerns, we sail it into the best stretch of the WAD instead.
I hate to spoil, but I think most of you have probably seen the screenshots elsewhere already. Still, stop reading now if you want to play the WAD first before hearing about its final episode. I don’t blame you.
.
…
…..
…
.
Welcome to the pearly gates, marine. Heaven has been the one locale that even id was afraid to go. As much as I love Doom Eternal, I will forever resent that they played it safe with a Nondenominational Fantasy Realm instead of going all in for a Biblical Heaven. Eviternity has no such fear; this is Heaven for real, and it’s everything I ever wanted.
There is something so pure, so joyous, so… funny somehow, about spraying bullets between the flawless marble pillars of the heavens. Sullying fountains of holy water with demons’ blood. Blasting Hell’s minions into gibs that fall amongst the clouds.
You can’t spend decades ransacking Hell without wondering what it would be like to do the same in Heaven. For all the places that Doom has taken us, this was the final frontier. And now here it is.
Pack it in, folks. We’re done at last. Doom is over.
Eviternity requires DOOM2.WAD and runs on MBF-compatible ports. If you’re not sure how to get it running, this may help. And for more awesome WADs, be sure to check these out!